


Random Snippets

by Laci_Taleweaver



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Multi, Sex Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-09-21 14:19:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9552596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laci_Taleweaver/pseuds/Laci_Taleweaver
Summary: Just a spot for random DBZ jokes, sometimes suggestive, sometimes not.The slug thing is based on a recurring joke from DBZ Abridged.  See, actual slugs are hermaphrodites, so when they mate, BOTH slugs get their eggs fertilized!  This is probably because otherwise, it would take them FOREVER to find mates.  (Also, I overthink things WAY too much, clearly.)





	1. Chapter 1

1\. The Ambiguously Gay Saiyan Duo

_Setting: The Cell Games. Goku is about to enter the ring._

Vegeta: "Try not to get yourself killed, Kakarot. Your ass is MINE!"

Gohan: *snickers*

Goku: "Um, Vegeta?"

Vegeta: "I meant no one else is allowed to kill you--I'M NOT GAY DAMN IT!"

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2\. Slugs are Hermaphrodites (also, alien biology can get really, really weird)

Yamcha: "You know, Piccolo, I just realized I've never seen you with a girlfriend."

Roshi: "I've seen him out on a couple dates. For some reason they never seem to work out though."

**FLASHBACK--A young woman's bedroom**

Piccolo's Girlfriend: "Show me yours and I'll show you mine."  
Clothes: *get discarded*  
PG: O_______o "What is THAT?"  
Piccolo: "And where's your dick?"  
PG: "What the hell are you talking about? Why would I have a dick?"  
Piccolo: "But...how are we supposed to impregnate each other if you don't have a penis?"  
Piccolo: * ** _is forcibly removed from the bedroom_** *

**END FLASHBACK**

Piccolo: *blushing* I don't want to talk about it.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3\. A Name Fit For a Prince

_Setting: Just before the androids arrive._

Vegeta: "I see you've gotten yourself knocked up."

Bulma: "It's your son, Vegeta."

Vegeta: "I assume you gave him a fitting name for a Saiyan prince."

Bulma: "His name is Trunks! It's a family name."

Vegeta: "WHY DID I HAVE TO SLEEP WITH A WOMAN WHOSE FAMILY IS NAMED AFTER UNDERWEAR?"

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4\. Seriously, Fans, Stop Complaining About This Scene Already

Vegeta: "So seriously, Kakarot, you and Chichi have never kissed?"

Goku: "Of course we have!  Just...not with food in our mouths."

Vegeta: "Yeah, that part was pretty weird."

Goku: "Plus, in public like that..."

*both Saiyans shudder*

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5\. Kakavege Fans, Rejoice

Bulma:  So, Goku.  Buddy.   Pal.

Goku:  Bulma, what is it?  Why do you look so embarrassed about something?

Vegeta:  *silently blushes*

Goku:  And what's with Vegeta?

Bulma:  You don't suppose Chichi would mind if...

Vegeta:  Damn it woman, spit it out already!

Goku:  I'm...not sure I want to know, actually.

Bulma: Well, Vegeta and I were wondering...

Vegeta: *beet red*  YOU WERE WONDERING!  I DON'T CARE!  THIS WAS **NOT MY IDEA!!**

Goku:  Um...

Bulma:  Threeway?

Goku:  I don't think Vegeta's really comfortable with that.  Look at him!

Bulma: *whispers* Who said it _had_ to be you, me, and _Vegeta_ _?_

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6.  Nope, Totally Not His Idea

 

*Vegeta and Bulma are having sex*

 

Vegeta:  Mmm, gods...

Bulma:  I'm gonna--

Vegeta:  AHHHN!  KAKAROT!

Bulma:  VEGE--hey, wait a minute.


	2. Chapter 2

Panchy: "Vegeta, dear, won't you have some carrot sticks?"  
Vegeta: "WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME TO...wait. You meant actual carrots?"  
Bulma: "You really need to get over this obsession."


End file.
